*Hello! I’m currently accepting clients for individual therapy!

Relational Therapy: My approach

Our stories don’t exist in a vacuum.

We receive so many messages that our mental health is about “something wrong with us,” and if we could just implement these self-help tips, we could enter back into the world as “healthy,” productive beings. But you are not defective, and we want so much more than just productivity. We are shaped by what we have gone through and we mold to our disconnected and shaming environment. We are trees that have wrapped around wire fencing to try and find the light. And we get to find joy and hope and a coming home to ourselves without bending to the wire. I want to help change the narrative from “I am not enough” or “why can’t I get over this pattern?” towards cultivating curiosity, self-compassion, and bold hope.

I draw on relational and feminist psychodynamic therapy that recognizes how our identities, ways of being with others, and experiences of the world are shaped by social forces, systemic oppression, and past wounds. Often, the painful strategies that can keep us feeling disconnected, unworthy, and depressed were once adaptive ways we survived painful moments and relationships. When we come to learn how to be with these painful parts, dare I say befriend these painful parts, we can move closer to ourselves and each other.

In our work, we focus on process over product. I strongly believe that authentic, transparent, and resilient relationships are a transformative path to healing. That’s why we get to be real with each other in therapy. Our work together is not a “quick fix,” because quick fixes are not how I’ve found change happens, and you don’t need fixing.

Together, we will collaborate on understanding how past hurts show up in present relationships. We’ll work towards integrating all parts of your story at your own pace and on your time. We will move at the speed of building trust with yourself and each other. And we will build towards making courageous changes.

I take a collaborative, client-led, and flexible approach to therapy and believe that we are co-creators in this space. You are as much my teacher in this as I am yours. You’re standing from a whole different vantage point, and I want to get to know what you see. I honor the you that brought you here, and that you is already worthy, deserving and belongs. Together, we will make meaning of our human follies. Let’s get connecting!

Relational

Relational Psychotherapy takes a holistic approach by looking at the historical, social, cultural, generational and interpersonal impacts of our intersecting identities and experiences that have rippled across our lives. It understands that our patterns do not stem from some inherent flaw but are an outgrowth of our survival strategies to gain connection in a disconnected world.

In relational therapy, I encourage us to be authentic in our connection. Tell me when I get it wrong. Let’s talk about discomfort, difference, and what feels scary about therapy.

Attachment Focused

We’ve come to learn about relationships through the modeling we experienced in our early life, and this modeling still has an impact on how we feel and react in relationships today. But what’s more, attachment isn’t just about our childhood and family but is also shaped by our sense of belonging and experiences of oppression within the state and social forces.

Trauma Informed

Trauma isn’t just “big T” trauma but arises from systemic oppressive, relational wounding, racial trauma and so many myriads of ways. Trauma also lives in the body. It’s stored as a strategy to keep you on alert to stay safe sometimes long after the incidents are over, or in environments where everyday threats remain present. We’ll work with your nervous system, at the pace of your parts and at the speed of trust.

“I am not pure and I am still sacred. And I am certainly not available to assimilate into an impossible system in order to be given the liberation that should have already belonged to me.”

— Pluma Sumac

Some values I strive towards in my practice and in life…

Anti-Expert

You are the author and authority of your own experiences. I’m not the “expert” holding all the answers or evaluating you against some pathologizing measure of “mental health”. Instead, together we come to understand the multilayers of your life.

Harm Reduction

I believe the strategies you employ that have helped you adapt to our world are innovative and rooted in your survival. I also believe that you get to determine your relationship to the strategies, and when and if you want to shift them. I’m here for you where you are at.

Non-Medical

Diagnoses do not define us. I am supportive and interested in the ways you’ve experienced or identified with diagnosis and mental health, but I know that your path and story go beyond these constructed boxes.

Neurodiverse Affriming

As a neurodiverse human, I understand some of the frustrations we face living in a neurotypical world. Let’s make the therapy space more fluid and affirming. Need to have your camera off? Cool! Wanna grab some fidget toys? Me too. Need to stand up, walk around, or lie on the floor as we talk? Great! Need to grieve the paths you could have chosen if you’d only known, and were supported sooner? Need to rage against the terror of household chores, the struggles of everyday tasks, and the systems in place that makes things so hard? I’m here for it.

Sex & Sex Work Positive

Sex work is work. Period. Healthy thriving relationships come in a plurality of ways (polyamorous, kinky, queer, play friends, aromantic partnerships). With my experience in sexual health and pleasure education, I’m here to affirm and be alongside all parts of your exploration. We can talk about what you find nourishing and fearful about exploring a desired kink. We can explore navigating a scene negotiation or how to communicate boundaries in ethical non-monogamous relationships. We can chat about the ambiguous feelings of working in a stigmatized field

Social Justice Informed

My work is informed by how systemic oppression including racism, sexism, homophobia, ableism, trans-phobia, fatphobia, classism among others have impacted our mental health, opportunities for paths in life, and ways we move through the world. I continue to strive to learn about the historic and contemporary ways psychology/therapy colludes and contributes to colonization and harm in communities, and I’m committed to continually questioning my work through a critical lens.

Sessions + Rates:

My rate is 140$ per 50-minute individual virtual therapy.

I reserve select spots for sliding scale clients starting at 100$-140$.

Your sliding scale spot is guaranteed for up to a year. *Currently my sliding scale spots are full.

I work with folks in Ontario and select other provinces. Please enquire.

Insurance:

I provide direct billing to various health insurance companies. Check out this blog post for more details, or reach out.